Attack of the Giant Leeches

One of my latest Netflix rentals was a sci-fi double feature DVD featuring The Wasp Woman/Attack of the Giant Leeches.



Attack of the Giant Leeches had to be one of the funniest bad sci-fi movies I've seen in a long time! In a nutshell, giant leeches grab all the backwater hillbillies they can, and store them in a secret underwater cave, so they can suck out their body fluids later.

The "leech" costumes are so bad, they're funny. They look like two men inside an inflatable sleeping bag, with "suckers" glued on them. You can always tell when the leeches are coming, because the music gets really creepy, and they start making a noise like someone's farting in the bathtub. The acting is pretty bad to non-existent, but some of the lines are priceless:

Dave, a fat guy whose wife Liz is played by Yvette Vickers: "Someday, I'm gonna give that she-cat the whoppin' she's been askin' for!"

"You're my wife! I'll touch ya anytime I feel like it!"

Game Warden Benton (the hero) to the Sheriff: "Awwww, go and soak your fat head!"

Nan (Benton's girlfriend) in the boat, right after they heard something move while searching for the monster: "Do you want some coffee?"

Dave: "I love ya, Liz baby!"

Liz: "Get out, you fat pig!"

Cal: "Dave, you put down that gun before I get mad and make you eat it!"

Liz (to Cal): "You call yourself a man? You and your muscles!" Then, she spits on him.

My favorite line, though, was Doc Greyson's: "Maybe the proximity to Cape Canaveral has something to do with it!"

If you're looking for a cheesy sci-fi movie to watch with friends, Attack of the Giant Leeches is definitely a good one!

Wednesday in the Car with Erica

This was the conversation in the car on the way to the mall this afternoon:

My niece: "And my brother kicked me right in my weiner!"

My sister: "You don't have a weiner. Only boys have weiners."

"What's a weiner?"

"A penis. You're a girl. You don't have a penis, and you don't have a weiner."

"What do I have? A cookie?"

Me: Snorts of laughter

"What's a crotch?"

"It's where your private parts are."

"Do girls have crotches?"

"Yes."

"But they don't have weiners?"

"Right."

"And my brother kicked me right in the crotch!"

Me: "Oh, I wish I was an Oscar Mayer Weiner..."

"What did you say, Auntie Carol?"

Me: "Never mind"

Who Knew?

Glad to see it's not all in my head!

Your Mission, Should You Choose to Accept It...

Is to post a comment and make up a "creative" definition for whatever bizarre combination of letters you're given for the comment "word verification".

Think you can do it?

Pictures from the NYC Snowstorm

The view outside my window at 8:30am.



The view from the same window 7 hours later, at 3:30pm. The snow is still falling.



A view of the street in front of the house at 8:30am.



A view of the street.

The Things I Learn on "Dr. 90210"

Until a few minutes ago, I was blissfully unaware of the phenomenon known as a "hidden penis", also known as a "buried penis". At least I was until I tuned into this week's episode of Dr. 90210. "A hidden penis is like a telescope", according to Dr. Gary Alter. Apparently, a "hidden penis" is a condition where the penile shaft is buried below the surface of the pubic skin. In the past five minutes, I have heard the words "hidden penis" more than twenty times. I now have a case of "hidden penis on the brain" and know more about "hidden penii" than I ever wanted to know.

This episode seems to be pretty penis-focused. Another segment is now dealing with the circumcision of Dr. Li's new son's penis. I wish I had a dollar for every time the word "penis" was mentioned. By the end of the hour, I could rest easily, knowing my rent, credit card and utility bills would all be paid - for the rest of the year.

My favorite line of Dr. Alter's though, had to be "Your penis doesn't have anywhere to go anymore". What? Was it planning a trip or something?

I Want One of These Tiaras!!!

You have to see the tiaras and other rhinestone jewelry on this site - they are incredible!

Welcome Ficken Chingers!

Ficken Chingers is my blog's tenant for the next few days. Please take a few minutes to visit her blog by clicking on the "Blog of the Week" link in the right margin. Be sure to read her post about "American Idol" while you're there!

It Came from the Dollar Store!

The "multi-function" Lucky Pot!


Combines avant gerde styling with conceptual design. It also creates a "hypnotic ambience through a combination of semi-translucent colours and complimenting chrome stand. Because you want a multi-function, avant gerde teapot that flatters you every morning.


A "poppy opener". Not sure if this is for opening beer and soda bottles, or a tool used in the manufacturing of heroin. But, if you've got a poppy to open, this is the tool for you. At only $1.29, it's a bargain! 



Don't you just hate it when you have loose plastics just lying around? I know I do! For just 99 cents, your problems are solved with these Plastics Clips! Buy one package of ten, and your loose plastics are a thing of the past!


Temmy's Corn Flakes, "delicious flakes of corn", brought to you by a green-headed rooster from another planet!


And, if you're bored at the breakfast table, the wonderful folks at Temmy's have provided "The Cornflakes Dots" and "Color the Roaster" for your entertainment!


The dollar store has something for everyone. Always popular with the S&M crowd is the Joy Free Hook.


Even with instructions as clear as these, I still can't figure out the reason for this thing!


Last, but by no means least, is the Benign Girl Super Telephone. Bizarre Girl is more like it. While the package entices the buyer to "Try Me! Press Button", they neglect to mention two things: a) there are no batteries in the phone, and b) there is no button.

Animal Rescue Foundation Needs Your Help!

ARF in Jackson, MS is a fairly new animal rescue organization founded in early 2005. They currently need donations of funds, heartworm treatments, used crates, blankets, leashes, quality dog food (like Royal Canin, Timberwolf Organics and NutraMax) and volunteers.

They desperately need volunteers to help at the shelter - duties include cleaning kennels, feeding and walking the dogs, and yes - playing with them! Office/secretarial help may also be needed. If you are in the Jackson area and have a few hours to spare, or would like to make a donation, please visit their website or e-mail them.