Use My Penis as a Billiards Cue???

I've seen all sorts of Cialis spam mail, but the one I got this morning takes the cake:

From: mrfourier [bbwerthgrde@hotmail.com]
To: mscarolm@xxx.com
Subject:
You always wanted to use your penis as a billiards cue.

Hello!
My
name is Erectile Dysfuncti0n.
I have a lot of friends such us: bad sex,
awful mood, dissatisfied wife, short erections and spoiled condoms.
But I do
have one enemy – its name is Soft Cialis Tabs.
When they appear, I
disappear.

While I don't personally have a penis, nor would I want to use it as a billiards cue if I had one, I have to give them points for creativity!

Spring is in the Air and on Sale!!!

"Was it good for you, too?"

Is it just me, or do these frogs look like they've just completed some wild act of lily pad lust? 

 
They say that "April showers bring May flowers", but somehow, I don't think these are quite what they had in mind.

  
  
Spring is also a great time for the CSI fans among you to stock up on your Christmas decorations. 

 

  
And, if you need a bit of help getting rid of those pesky bloodstains, there's always Grandma!

  

I Feel Pretty! Oh So Pretty!

So, I wake up feeling better after several days of a nasty upper respiratory "bug". However, when I looked in the bathroom mirror, I discovered that  I looked like Robert DeNiro in "Raging Bull".

Actually, with my "bed head", I looked worse. My left eye was all red and swollen. Lucky me, I've got "pink eye"! It's bad enough having to walk around looking like I just went ten rounds with Mike Tyson. Not being able to wear any makeup only adds insult to injury. The result is very attractive.

I'd probably be crying if it wasn't so darn comical.

Music Soothes the Savage Chest

The past few days, I've had a case of the crud and have been feeling like crap. I don't know who/how/where I caught it, but it's not fun.

However, right now, I'm sitting here dancing in my chair. The New Mix 102.7 is having a Disco Explosion weekend, featuring music of the Studio 54 years. I haven't heard some of this stuff since I was in high school! Some of it's good, some of it sucks (like this version of "You're Just Too Good To Be True" that's playing right now), but boy, does it bring back memories!

For those who don't know it by now, if there's one thing I am passionate about in life, it's music. Whether it's classical, oldies, country, new wave or disco, I love music. I love listening to it, dancing to it and singing it. Music is my life. This summer, I'm going to get a chance to live out another dream, and strut my stuff as a DJ. I'm already putting together play lists. Scary, isn't it?

I don't know if it's the music, or simply that taking a musical stroll down memory lane has shifted my attention to something other than how crappy I feel. Whatever it is, it's working. I'm starting to feel more like a human being than I have in days. This is a very good thing.