This Week's Theme: Antique

This week's Saturday Photo Scavenger Hunt theme is "Antique", and from my collection of thrift shop horrors, I present to you...

Chairs from Hell

The picture really doesn't do the horror of these justice. What's not clearly visible is the color. Imagine if you will, olive green chairs with crushed goldenrod velvet cushions. They're from another dimension. A dimension of console TVs and bad upholstery. There's the signpost up ahead. You've just crossed into "The Retro Zone".

A Rare Religious Artifact

LOOK! It's Icantciu, the ancient god of eyeless people!

At some point in time, someone actually bought this for their home. It boggles the mind.

Now, if you want to see some real antiques, click the link to the entry below:

Top Ten Reasons No One Takes Me to the Museum

Gnarly, Dude!!!

(click on the picture to enlarge)

A collection of surfin' dolphins from our friends at Family Dollar! Bet you didn't know dolphins knew how to ride a wave and hang-ten, now, did ya? I'm not quite sure how the snow globe roses fit in with the surfing theme, though.

My personal favorite is the one on the left, wearing the bright yellow t-shirt and the totally awesome shades!

Now That Thanksgiving's Over

It's time for CHRISTMAS!!! What better way to count down the number of shopping days left until Christmas than with a series of bizarre, tasteless and/or tacky holiday items?

At 30 shopping days left until Christmas, we have "Jesus, Mary and Joseph Do Las Vegas"

 Click the picture to view full-size
Also known as "The Holy Family Meets Liberace". LOVE the sequins! 

Horrific Halloween Decor from Home Goods

 The pre-cursor to Cabbage Patch Kids.


 Is it me, or does the psychotic smile on the pumpkin clown scare the bejeezus out of you, too?

Obviously, whoever buys this stuff doesn't have small children in the house. This would've given me years of nightmares, and scarred me for life!  

  


A special nightmare for the cat lovers amongst us - the two-headed top hat-wearing black cat!

Hideous Housewares

Look,Ma! No feet!

Decorate Your Bathroom - The Dollar Store Way!

First, select your toilet seat cover:

Tired of sitting down to do your business, only to find yourself seated in a wet spot? This terry-cloth seat cover is not only cheap, and available in an assortment of attractive colors to match most bathrooms (if they happen to be pink and/or purple), it's highly absorbent, too!


If your bathroom isn't pink or purple, there's this hideous cushioned toilet seat in a shade that will hide most unsightly toilet issues.



And, to point the way to your restroom, you might want to invest in one of these "Toilet" signs. Why on Earth would anyone want a wall plaque featuring an old geezer taking a crap?

There's actually a whole series of these, each featuring an old person in a different "potty pose". Collect 'em all!

Hideous Home Décor #2

AAAACCKKK!!! It's the killer technicolor blowfish!!!

Actually, this particular aquatic nightmare is a candle holder. And, you guessed it - it came from Home Goods. Love the blue eyeshadow!!!


Sponsor me and help the ASPCA! 

Hideous Home Décor #1

Another monstrosity brought to you courtesy of the folks at Home Goods.

Apparently, whoever made this ran out of paint and couldn't afford to finish coloring her in. Not that it would be much of an improvement.

Face it folks - nine times out of ten, there's a reason stuff ends up on sale at Home Goods - it's FUGLY!!! 

Horrendous Holiday Décor #3

CSI - North Pole

This elf was actually still for sale in the holiday clearance section, even though he's clearly been decapitated and is missing a hand. 

Horrendous Holiday Décor #2

Click the picture to view full-size

It's the Dolphin Family Christmas!

I love dolphins, but the thought of a house full of dolphins in Santa hats makes me cringe. What's with the baby dolphins on the candle holder? Didn't their parents teach them never to play with fire?

And since when do dolphins have Christmas trees???

Sponsor me and help the ASPCA!

Horrendous Holiday Décor #1

Look! They're playing dress-up! He's wearing her dress, and she's wearing his Easter outfit! I'm not sure which is worse – the bunny in drag, or the Easter bonnet from hell.

This is but a small sampling of some of the horrendous holiday décor found in my local Home Goods store. 

Thrift Shop Horrors Revisited

The original Bride of Chucky?

Chairs from Hell

The picture really doesn't do the horror of these justice. What's not clearly visible is the color. Imagine if you will, olive green chairs with crushed goldenrod velvet cushions. They're from another dimension. A dimension of console TVs and bad upholstery. There's the signpost up ahead. You've just crossed into "The Retro Zone".

(To see more thrift shop horrors, click on the "Previous Posts" links on the right.)

LOOK! It's Icantciu, the ancient god of eyeless people!  

At some point in time, someone actually bought this for their home. It boggles the mind.

More Second-hand Horrors

He loves his Grandpa, but his Grandpa obviously doesn't love him. Grandpa donated him to St. Vincent de Paul, where he will sit forever, waiting for some pedophile with a cowboy fetish to buy him.

Bad Grandpa.

Used-to-Be Pets

Because every home needs its own Used-to-Be Pheasant. The Used-to-Be-Pheasant is easy to keep clean and makes a great pet for folks on a budget.

Used-to-Be Pets - the ideal gift for lazy people who are too cheap to buy pet food.

Second-hand Horrors

I'm not quite sure, but it looks like a Jesus and Moses Blue Plate Special. Would you believe they wanted eight bucks for this?

More from the Great Avocado Invasion of the 1970s

This is actually a set of metal canisters. Why anyone would want this in their kitchen beats the crap out of me!

The Great Thrift Shop Adventure

After years of talking about it, my sister Jean and I finally went to the St. Vincent de Paul Society Thrift Shop on Jericho Turnpike. It was a complete bust as far as finding bargains. I have never seen so much ugly, over-priced, second-hand crap.

Good thing I had my camera phone with me. The picture quality is lousy, but then so was the merchandise itself, like this lovely patio furniture set, in a lovely shade of avocado:

Horror 1