WPVI.com: Birthday Party Gone Bad: "Birthday Party Gone Bad
Mom Accused of Stripping for Boys
SHARON, PA-August 27, 2003 — A Pennsylvania woman was arrested after allegedly buying her son and 3 of his friends beer and stripping for them in a hotel in an attempt to make up for a failed birthday trip to ride go-carts. "

According to the article, the boys found that the go-carts were all rented out, the woman drove to Ohio to buy beer and then took the son and his friends to a hotel, gave them beer and $1 bills. She told them she wanted to be a stripper and told them to put the money in her bra and panties, exposed herself and asked the boys to spank her.

What I want to know is how watching your mom strip and putting dollar bills into her panties makes up for missing out on a go-cart ride? The two don't even come close in my book. What the hell was this woman thinking??? "Oh gee, since they can't ride the carts, maybe they'd like to see mom naked instead???"

Here's the short version of my blackout adventure. In a nutshell, I ended up:

- Walking down 36 flights of stairs to get out of our office building at around 6pm.

- Staying overnight at a co-worker's house on Staten Island, where she, two of her neighbors and I drank margaritas and had salad, pasta, chips and guacamole.

- Going back into the city on Friday morning, and finding out that our office was still closed even though power was restored in Lower Manhattan.

- Taking a bus up to 59th and 2nd, and trying to find a way to get into Queens.

- VERY LUCKILY eventually getting on what turned out to be an express bus to Main Street Flushing, which is where I would normally get off the subway to catch my local bus.

- My commute home from lower Manhattan took me about 3 1/2 -4 hours, but I got home and then went over to my kid sister's where I ended up in my 5 year old niece's kiddie pool fully dressed.

- Having a sleepover party with my niece, where she gave my sister and I a beauty makeover, and we all sang "I feel pretty". Now THAT was hilarious!

I'll write more about my blackout of 2003 adventures later. Right now, I just wanted to post here to let anyone reading know that I'm safe, sound and finally home.

Here's something I don't understand. Why do people get on an escalator, only to walk up or down them? Aren't escalators supposed to be for lazy people such as myself who don't want to walk up or down stairs? Why take the escalator in the first place, or worse, push past those of us who are simply enjoying the ride? Why not just take the stairs and let us ride in peace?

Okay, as of yesterday morning, I've had my subway delay for the week. The #7 train that I was on sat for over 20 minutes and then proceeded at a snail's pace due to "congestion due to a sick passenger at Queensboro Plaza." What is normally about a 35-40 minute ride ended up taking over an hour. Fortunately, I had a seat, but by the time that train pulled into Times Square, my butt was numb from all the sitting!

According to the front page of this week's Weekly World News, the Pope is Missing! I'm not sure which is funnier, the headline or the following quote:

"He seems to have just wandered off" - says agitated Cardinal

Other headlines of note include:

Found: Amazing Real-life Rip Van Winkle! The funny thing about this one is the picture of a guy dressed in pretty modern business clothes with a long white beard and really long fingernails.
Breast Milk: It's Not Just for Babies Anymore! I'm not touching that one!
Root Beer & Brazil Nuts Cured My Cancer!
Give Your Computer a Human Brain - Your loved ones can live on - in your PC!
Family is Terrorized by a Demon Dollhouse!
My Twin Made Me a Drunk! Heavy boozing leads to Siamese Tragedy
and last, but not least...
Fishing Fleets are Wiping Out Our Mermaids - Conservationists Warn! The quote here is from a boat captain:
"I always throw the live ones back!"

Yesterday was a "good news, bad news" kind of day. The good news is that I received an e-mail from the contact for our adopted platoon, and he is back home in the USA. The rest of the platoon is due back home within the next few days or so. I thought it was especially nice of him to e-mail me considering he's only been home a matter of days after being in the Middle East for about 10 months, and in the hospital overseas with a broken leg. If I'm glad he's home, I can only imagine how his wife must be feeling!

Now for the bad news. My landlord is going to be raising my rent by $50/month starting next month, and then another $50/month in January. This sounds like a lot, but he hasn't raised my rent in the last 4 years. I've only had one rent increase, and that was back in 1999. Besides, the guy deserves it. He's a great landlord, and I love my apartment. Even with the rent increase, it's still a bargain. I have the whole first floor of a renovated house that was built around 1911, eight windows, three of which are southern exposure, high ceilings and four rooms. I also get pretty much sole use of the porch, since my upstairs neighbor never uses it. So, while the increase may be a bit of a stretch, I'm happy here and don't think I would find anything even remotely comparable for less.

Yesterday, my sister Jean and I made another pilgrimage to IKEA. I bought five off-white cloth window shades to replace some of the decrepit hunter green mini-blinds in my apartment, another cord light and paper shade, and two CD/DVD wall storage units for my livingroom. All five shades are now on the windows in my bedroom and diningroom. I could kick myself in the head for not buying three more for the livingroom windows. The shades really make a big difference. They're a little boring color-wise, but they let more light in, and I can always pick up some fabric paint and liven them up a bit.

Next on my home improvement list are a bookcase, coffee table and someplace to store my photo albums and scrapbooks. This is getting very scary!

Today looks like it's going to be another good day for this domestically-challenged individual. It's only 9:12am, and already I've installed a new IKEA light fixture in my bedroom. It's one of those cool lights that are really nothing more than a length of electrical cord, socket and a bulb that hangs from a hook in the ceiling, covered with a cool paper shade. The entire thing only cost me about six bucks. I needed something for when I want to read in bed, so that I don't have to walk all the way across the room to shut the dang ceiling light off. It's lightweight, too, so if I screwed up and it falls off the ceiling, it won't damage my head too much!