In keeping with ATRW tradition, here are some headlines from this week's Weekly World News, my favorite tabloid:

Osama's Embarassing Secret: Bin Laden is a Bed Wetter! This is too much! "We believe that Al Qaeda may be running out of places to conceal him," confirms the source. "Now he's often forced to stay in sleazy roadside motels. Once the staff are done cleaning his room, they're usually glad to answer any questions we ask.

"It's been a long chase, but we know we're getting close. These days his bedsheets are often still damp when we arrive. That's very exciting."

I don't know who their source is, but I think anyone who thinks finding damp bedsheets is exciting really needs to get themselves a hobby or something. Something's just not right there.

35 Helpless Americans are Buried Alive Every Day! According to this article, If you don't want to become the next man, woman or child to suffocate in a casket, bleed to death in the basement of a funeral home or burn to oily ash in a crematorium, you must take precautions now. What the article fails to mention is what types of precautions one should take to avoid such a horrible fate.