This goes into the "only in New York" file. Yesterday, as I was leaving the three-day Negotiation Skills class I was taking, I decided to stop over near the South Street Seaport. I walked over, and decided to check out the NY Waterway ferries. As I was walking over to find out about schedules and prices, I passed a nun. As I did so, she asked "Would you like to help the children of St. Joseph's?" in this really husky voice that sounded like she smoked three packs a day. I smiled and said "no thanks" and walked over to where the ferry info was posted. She asked a few more people if they would like to help the children of St. Joseph's. Something made me turn around to give this nun a second look. Well, either she was the world's ugliest nun, or she was a he. We're talking "Sister Mary God, She's Ugly" ugly.

Not only that, the habit she was wearing was really strange. For one thing, it was sleeveless. Now, I was born and raised Catholic, and I don't think I've ever seen a sleeveless habit. The next tip-off that this was a pseudo-sister were the socks. Yes, you heard me right socks - another thing I've never seen worn with a nun's habit. These were heavy, black woolly ones, which went really well with the knee-length black skirt she was wearing. The bare legs were another tip-off. Everyone knows nuns don't have legs! On her head, she wore what looked like a white bandana underneath a - get this - black wrap skirt tied around her head instead of a veil. That, combined with the nicotine-stained teeth and big square-framed eyeglasses really made it obvious that this was definitely not a nun.

So, I walked up to Pier 17 and mentioned it to the NYPD MSTF officers parked there. I told them that I wasn't sure they could do anything, but that if nothing else, it could be worth a good laugh. I told them that if this was a nun, I was Mother Theresa, and that I really thought that this sister wasn't even a woman. I wish I could've been a fly on the wall to watch the results, but I didn't think it would be wise to hang around and watch the action.